


sweet . heart (i don't got you no more)

by teamfreeawesome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Zayn-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamfreeawesome/pseuds/teamfreeawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i guess that's love</p>
            </blockquote>





	sweet . heart (i don't got you no more)

**Author's Note:**

> This was _not_ intended to imply suicide, but I realise that it could be construed that way - so if that could potentially trigger you, please don't read this. 
> 
> I wrote mean!Liam, wtf??? 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is not true. It's a work of fiction and no harm was meant by the writing of this. To me: fanfiction One Direction are fictional characters. I don’t, in any way, equate the stories to their real-life counter parts, because they aren’t the same people. Also, please, nobody send this to anyone included in this fic or anyone that they know.
> 
> Comments and kudos are like warm hugs <3

Loving Liam is _easy_

(it’s just like breathing)

 

*

 

Zayn loves like there’s nothing _else_.

His lungs fill, the world turns - and Zayn loves Liam.

 

*

 

He likes to watch the sun rise, the sweet pink of dawn a splash of colour across the sky. Standing, cup of tea held to his chest, Zayn smiles as a wash of hazy golden sunshine rolls into the room. His heart beats, slow and sleepy - and Zayn breathes.

 

*

 

“I can’t. I _can’t_.”

 

*

 

Zayn wanders the flat, morning slowly brightening as the winter sun rises in the sky. His toes curl in his socks - the soft, knitted material like a hum of _warm_ against his skin. Sliding a hand across the granite surface of the kitchen counter, Zayn smiles.

(Liam likes to kiss him against the counter, fingers curled softly in Zayn’s hair and lips soft - his whispers of love sweet against Zayn’s skin)

 

*

 

Zayn likes the softness of Liam in the mornings – fringe curled against his skin, expression sleepy. He likes the gentle grumpiness of Liam – giggles as Liam pouts into his tea.  

And his _love_ for Liam –

It’s spilling from Zayn’s edges, escaping across the skin of his tongue as they kiss. It flickers across his fingertips, the static of it dancing across Liam’s skin. His bones feel _brittle_ with it, his chest tight with everything he can’t express, mouth fumbling around the words.

Zayn’s a _mess_ of happy – and it’s _brilliant_.

 

*

 

Loving Liam –

It’s soft kisses in the dark, fingers twined and legs brushing together. It’s endearments whispered into skin as thunder rumbles outside. It’s feeling like his heart is going to burst when Liam smiles, soft and unbidden. It’s _i love you_ traced out into the muscles of his back. It –

Zayn can’t _breathe_ with it.

 

*

 

“I don’t mean to hurt you. You _know_ that, Zayn.”

 

*

 

“Don’t _cry_ Zayn, _god_.”

 

*

 

Loving Liam is being slowly ripped apart from his skin, each strip a burn of _fuck. you_.

Loving Liam is a knife carving the flesh from his body as he screams. It’s Zayn reaching out, mouth stretched around a plea, only to be kicked back into the flames. It’s _hoping_ as the air flickers around him - only a hazy mirage left of _his_ Liam.

Loving Liam is watching as vodka tips out across the floor, the sting of it dripping down from the back of Liam’s throat as he kisses up Zayn’s neck – finally drunk enough to _touch_ Zayn again.

And loving Liam is Zayn curling in on himself, shoulders hunched and vulnerabilities hidden.

(But, see. Liam remembers all of those, doesn’t he? Remembers where to touch – where to stab – to get Zayn screaming, fresh tears pulled from his eyes as he chokes out a plea for it to stop)

Loving Liam is crumbling beneath all the _words_ – and desperately hoping that Liam remembers why he _chose_ Zayn.

 

*

 

_“_ I love you. I love you so _much_. My Zayn _._ ”

 

*

 

Zayn wants to curl into Liam, hide his face in Liam’s neck, fingers curled into the hem of his shirt as Zayn sobs out all the _hurt_.

He doesn’t _understand_. He thought that maybe he was _enough_.

He was wrong.

 

*

 

“Stop _calling_ me, Zayn. If I wanted to _talk_ to you, I would. _God_. You’re so _pathetic_.”

 

*

 

Loving Liam is the thick feeling of unhappiness welling up, his body empty and heart crumpled.

 

*

 

“I miss you.”

 

*

 

“Liam. _Please_.”

 

*

 

Loving Liam is giving him _everything_ and being left a husk on the floor, face pressed into the carpet. It’s the splash of tears onto the material of his jeans as he sings, heart finally shattering beneath the weight of his wounds.

And Zayn –

He _can’t_ anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, Zayn. I want to cry a little bit.


End file.
